Endings, and New Beginnings, Ups and Downs...

In the course on Aristotle, we are still trying to figure what happiness is, and what makes us happy.  The conclusion still seems to be, we are about as happy as we let ourselves be.  I knew that.  And I do believe that our innate nature determines whether we are a glass half empty or a glass half full kind of person.  But I also believe that we can work at changing our outlook on life - change the grooves in our brains, if you will - so that we are less negative and more positive.  What can I say?  Still an optimistic American, in spite of current circumstances.....

Friends from Vancouver, Lois and Alf, come to the Desert almost every year.  They arrived on Wednesday, and came over on Thursday.  We shared a nice bottle of wine here, and then had a lovely dinner at Yanni's, my new local favourite, a great Greek restaurant.  Alf and Lois are not only great travelers, with lots of interesting tales to tell, but are also endlessly (it seems) fascinated by their friends' lives.  In other words, there's never a shortage of conversation (the wine doesn't hurt....)  And they so obviously love each other - after all these years - well, they are a pleasure to be around....

Friday sounded a different note.  Two weeks before I arrived in the Desert,  neighbor Bob died at 87.  Until recently, he had been a young 87, and it was somehow shocking to find him gone.  His wife Helga was expecting it (he had been going down hill for several months), but, after 60 odd years of marriage, well...... Bob wasn't a religious sort, but Helga held a Celebration of Life at a local club.  Lovely, actually.  About 70 people, open bar, lovely food, a slide show that didn't - for a change - go on too long, family and friends sharing funny stories at Bob's expense.  I think he would have loved it.  But once again, the whole affair demonstrated that you can never really know anyone.  We were neighbors, on reasonably friendly terms, for ten years, and yet there were whole swaths of Bob's life about which I knew nothing....

So, that was the ending part.  What about the new beginning part?  Well, I mentioned some time ago that friend (from about 55 years ago)  Alison had died.  Through her, I met Michael (also about 55 years ago).  I had seen his name floating around Facebook, but never made contact.  Well, in the tooing and froing around Alison's death, he contacted me and suggested that after 53 years (our last known contact) we should probably see one another again.   Since he was coming to the Desert for the winter (not usual for a Brooklyn boy, where Florida is more often the snow bird destination of choice...) - well, on Sunday, he came over to my house for brunch.  (He called and asked me to go to a concert the week before, but I was already booked.  So, he was already off to a good start.  First of all, he likes live performance.  And secondly, he was willing to expend some money, both excellent traits.)

Truth be told, if he would have passed me on the street, I wouldn't have recognized him - 53 years is, after all, a long time (I'm sure he wouldn't have recognized me either - I certainly wasn't blond then...).  However, we didn't stop talking until three and a half hours later, and then only because I threw him out.  It was great fun.  And he further  endeared himself to me by eating a second helping of my french toast and bacon.  (When trying to determine what I would make, I asked whether he had any food issues; his reply was, yes, I like it too much.  Another plus.)  And he loved my juke box.  

So, we caught up on 50 years (he said that the last time we saw each other, we were necking in a corner somewhere; I said I didn't remember that, but it certainly wasn't beyond the realm of the possible...)  it went on that way, through marriages (both of ours), divorce (his), kid (his), and current affairs, and agreed that we would see each other again.  Ergo, new beginnings.....  ( thought it a bit rude to take a picture.  Next time....  In short, not, I don't think relationship material, but friendship, certainly.  And in this day and age, you can't have too many friends....

And, of course, books.  Here too, a combination of old and new.  In the old department, Sinclair Lewis's It Can't Happen Here was front and center (without comment) at the library.   I'd read it before, of course, but thought it deserved a re-read.   It was set in the 30's and 40's, and talked about the election of a fascist president in the USA.....  (speaking of which, didn't you love the judge's rebuke to Mr. T yesterday:  "You are the President, not a king....")  Lewis doesn't read as well as it did in the mid-20th century, but the warning is clear enough.....

Next up was a book by Cate Haste, a Brit, called Passionate Spirit, a biography of Alma Mahler.  It wasn't very well written - Alma was described as "wailing" about every third sentence, and when she wasn't "wailing" she was "fuming".  But it was interesting nonetheless.  If was an interesting time, for one thing, Eastern Europe between 1879, when she was born, and the 1960's when she died.  And she was fascinating, an anti-Semite who surrounded herself with Jews, married to Mahler, of course (although he had converted to Catholicism  in order to be named head of the opera) and the great painter Oscar Kokoschka).  She was muse to scores of others, and also married to Walter Gropius (later of Bauhaus fame) and the Jewish writer Franz Werfel.  She was called the most beautiful girl in Vienna (if she was, the pictures in the book don't do her justice, and in any event, she was still attracting men's adoration when she was old and fat).  And, of course, the politics of the time were fascinating, what with the fall of the Hapsburg Empire, the rise of Nazism and Fascism and Communism.  And the book  was a who's who of all the writers and painters and composers and conductors of the era, a surprising number of whom I was familiar with.  So, a good read.

....followed by a trashy thriller, Tightrope, by Amanda Quick, a good read of a different sort....

And am now into a book called Mary B. by Katherine Chen, one of the endless literary spin-offs of the Pride and Prejudice story, from the point of view of Mary, the ugly sister.  Just a few pages in, but I'm already hooked......  God, I love books..

...I'm in the groove....

.....the time just flies by.....

Aside from the usual bridge and classes, there was Madama Butterfly at Met in the Movies on Wednesday, with a new opera buddy.  I was talking opera at a break at bridge, and a gal I knew said she would like to go with me some time.  I told her about Butterfly, and a date was made.  Linda is also a recovering New Yorker, and has been to the Met live many times, as, of course, have I.  This was her first Live in HD outing, though, and I was happy to recruit her.  (You can't have too many opera goers....).  The music, of course, was glorious, as were the costumes and most - but not all - of the staging.  (As usual with staging these days, the directors don't trust you to have the attention span to watch a three hour opera, so they have to have glittery shiny things to divert your attention on the stage.  In this case, it was a puppet - with four puppeteers - instead of the three year old boy the libretto calls for.)  The thing is, even when the Met goes wrong, they do it in great style!  Anyway, a fun evening at the opera.

The other cultural outing was a theater afternoon at the Coachella Valley Rep with friends Geoff and Marvin.  Since the theater is only a few minutes from my place, we had brunch here, which I managed to pull off successfully, I think.  (I entertain so seldom these days that I worry....)  The play, Dinner With Friends, by Donald Margoulies, was only so-so, however.  It apparently won a Pulitzer; I can't for the life of me figure out why.  Well, that's the thing about live; theater; sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.  It was a nice outing in any event.

Two more books.  The first, Vasily Grossman and The Soviet Century, by Alexandra Popoff.  Had you heard of Vasily Grossman before?  I hadn't, before I read about him in The Economist.  He was a popular author in Soviet Russia, until he wasn't - he spoke truth to power, and it was not - is never? - appreciated.  His books were eclipsed by Pasternak's Dr. Zhivago, and Solzienitsin's Day in the Life; that was probably the only reason he died of natural causes.  He believed in freedom and the value of human life, and pointed out the sameness of Stalin's Russia and Hitler's Germany, communism, nazism, having in common the utter disdain for human life.  Anyway, a very depressing piece of work.

The other book was a bit lighter, but not by much.  It was called The Book of Dreams, and was told from the point of view of two people in a coma and two people who visited them.........Very well written, and I truly couldn't put it down, but I would be hard pressed to say I enjoyed it...

On a lighter note,

.....my feathered friend Harriet is back (....haven't seen her mate Ozzie yet, though....)  I wasn't paying enough attention, so she hopped up to the table where I was reading, and then waited patiently til I retrieved her food...

.....and I do love the Desert sky....

More anon...

......there's always the pool......

I don't think I had one pool day last season.  I was busy busy busy, and those days when I was actually at home, it was too cool for the pool.

I am determined not to let another season go by, and the weather has been glorious the last few days....

There are about 50 units up here in the north end of the park, and the pool is supposed to be for all of us, but there are only a few of us who use it, and mostly not at the same time.  So, on a beautiful Saturday and Sunday, it was only me.

And I am happy to tell you that my only retirement skill is still operational.  For those of you who don't know what it is, well, I have learned to read a book, on my float, in the pool, without getting the book wet!!!A useful skill, no?

Speaking of books, I have several to report on.  The first is Rockonomics, by Alan Kruger, about the economics of the rock business.  Not profound, but interesting.  Next up, Tidelands, by Phillipa Gregory.  She is the author who writes about all the Tudor women.   (Her books are always front and center in the library, which, after Trader Joe's, is my first port of call when I get back.) This is something different for her - still a historical woman, but a poor one, living in the Tidelands, at the time of Charles I and the Roundheads and the total chaos that was England at the time.  Interesting, before this year, I knew almost nothing about the period, and in recent memory, I have now read three (including this one) books about it, the first an autobiography of Charles I, the second about the restoration of his son to the British throne, and now this one.

Fits in with my favourite metaphor.  Life is like a jigsaw puzzle, and as we get older, more and more pieces have touching sides...

Finally, I found a book called Courting Lincoln, by Louis Bayard.  It is looking at Abraham Lincoln through the eyes of Mary Todd Lincoln, his wife, and Joshua Speed, his best friend.  Even though I knew from the start it would end badly, I was riveted - the sign of a good read, I guess

I am already started on my next one, but will save that for another time.  My dinner awaits.  I cook way more here than I do up north;  all this free food needs to be used.....

So much to do, so little time......

Got a call and arranged lunch at Sherman's with friend Elaine....

...this may be the first year that I have let 10 days go by before visiting my favourite deli....  I met Elaine a few years back in one of my classes.   We hit it off, and have been sharing classes and having the occasional lunch ever since.  She is bright and funny, and a great addition to my roster of friends.  We're already planning out next outing....

In addition to two successful bridge sessions, I added a new activity to my repertory - I finally joined the Opera Guild.  I haven't done that anywhere I lived - any activities I attended, I found the people to rich and two aware of it - but one of the members plays bridge with me (although we are not partners), and she assured me it was a good group, so I took the plunge.  Well, there was certainly plenty of money in the room, and the do was held at Smoke Tree Ranch, a very exclusive private club (the food and wines were divine...).  But the people went out of their way to include me in conversations and save me a seat for the concert, and I truly had a lovely time.  Great tenor, too - wish I remembered his name, he will really go somewhere.....  I didn't take any pictures, it seemed tacky to do so, so you will have to imagine it - the sunset, the tents, the palms, the smell of money...  anyway, I did enjoy it, and plan to attend the next activities, if I can...

I did take a few other pictures around and about....

 .....the first grapefruits in my garden....


...

....this is the garden at the side of my house...

.......and my entrance...

....as always, I hope to see you here soon....

Last Hurrah for Vancouver, New Beginnings in the Desert!!!

Last views from Vancouver for the season!  The view of (and from) my living room.....

....... and last bit of my fall walks....

.

......and even some pumpkins....

Lots of good-bye outings, as always when I am about to head south....

Wine and sunset on Lou's boat (alas, no pictures - didn't seem appropriate somehow)...

.....dim sum with friend Mickey....

....Indian lunch with colleagues and friends Bea and Eric....  (stay with me here; there will be more pictures coming...)

.....and a final theater outing with friend Jack...

...first dinner at Nuba, a Middle Eastern restaurant which is one of our "go-to's" when we are heading to this neighborhood.  (Formerly Orestes, a favourite hang-out from law school days - a few minutes ago...)

.....and the play, The Dance Lesson....

...a charming thing, about two neighbors in an apartment building, a recovering dancer, and an Aspergers man willing to pay her for a dance lesson.  It really was charming.  It met the most important test - I cared what happened to both of them....

Farewell dinner with the girls at Flamingo, my neighborhood Chinese eatery...

(from the left, your Intrepid Reporter, Deirdre, Susan and Joanne)

......and the annual (bi-annual, really, once on his birthday and once on mine) dim sum lunch at Kirin with Richard.(my friend since law school.  As noted above, a few minutes ago...)

And, finally, Japanese with colleague and friend Randy, our last lunch of the season.

You might have noticed a theme here; Chinese, Indian, Japanese.....I do this every year before I go south, stoke up on Asian food, something I won't be eating in the Desert, the Desert being the place for what I call "white man's food" (with the exception of Mexican, of course).

Of course, some of us - of a certain vintage - remember when "white man's food" was all there was; I introduced my parents, good Eastern Europeans that they were, to pizza and Chinese food when I was sixteen years old...

So, as some of you know, I had been begging for work  all summer, but there was very little to be had.  Then, in my last week, two files miraculously showed up.  I am not complaining, mind you, money is money and I need every bit of it.  But it did cause some fretting.  All the support staff were very, well, supportive, though, and all managed to get done and out the door.

Even had time for a bridge tournament, although I don't know why I bothered; I did abysmally.  Though, as John is fond of reminding me, I love the game..... (some days more than others...).

And then I was on my way...

Departure date was October 26, and it did not exactly go smoothly.  I signed up for the puddle jumper - two stops - because it was cheap, and because I can read and/or knit anywhere.  John picked me up and took me to the airport in good time - I love the man, he is so reliable (among his other sterling traits) - but the first thing that happened  was that the Portland leg was delayed.  No problem - I had plenty of time between legs.  Then the flight was cancelled.  Big problem, as I had already checked my baggage.  (Yes, I know, I am not meant to check luggage, but hey, I am going for six months and it was only one bag...).  Anyway, Alaska Airlines is great!  After some to-ing and fro-ing (I am getting too old for the airport sprint, I tell you), they got us all on other flights, and, lo and behold, when I got to the lovely Palm Springs airport at 8 P.M. (40 minutes earlier than originally anticipated), my luggage was there too!  

As were friends John and Tom to pick me up.  The air was balmy, and I was back!!!

Of course, my car didn't start the next morning, but waiting for AAA in my driveway with a cup of coffee wasn't so bad, and the guy gave me a hug when he was done.  Trust me, that doesn't happen in Vancouver.

And all is well here.

Howard, our fearless leader, is still leading at the gym.....

...... and there were lots more hugs and "welcome home" all around.

I've already played bridge three times, with - finally - some success (thanks Desert John!!!).  Yet more hugs.....

Classes have started.

-Thought I would share a shot of one of my favourite instructors, Dr. Michael McDonald.  He is a PhD in philosophy, and is so enthusiastic  (and peripatetic) that he makes us all enthusiastic too.  I will bore you with the details on request; for now, suffice it to say, I'm engaged!

One of my other courses is called Blood, Sweat and Fears.  We are meant to see six crime films which won the Academy Award for Best Film in their year.  The first film was On The Waterfront.  I wouldn't exactly call it a crime film ("who killed Jimmy Doyle?" question to the contrary notwithstanding), but it is certainly a great film - Marlon Brando, Karl Madden, Eva Marie Saint, and all the rest.   I had forgotten how great the film was, although National Theater Live from London had done the play a few years back.

The instructor, Butch Epps, studied film in LA, and is a (lapsed, I think) Catholic, so we often get a spiritual take on things.  The conversation veered from the crosses made by the television antennas on the roof to the HUAC hearings of Elia Kazan, the director, and Arthur Miller's The Crucible re witch hunts.  You get the idea.  All great fun; we left burbling with conversation!  Next week's film is The Godfather.  (You can already see the moralistic bent...)

Back to zumba too, of course.  .....

....we  have a new instructor, who is great....

...but lots of familiar faces (including Mason, center, who must have been quite the dancer when he was young.  He sure can get those dance moves on)...

...yet more hugs....

.I have already been to one Met live broadcast, Manon by Massenet.  Not my favourite opera, but at least I'm back in the groove, and have the local schedule of performances.  Have the schedule for the theater as well, so I am really off and running.

The rounds of socializing have already begun.  Nancy and Tom (from the gym) stopped by yesterday morning to see if I needed any help getting set up (six months in Vancouver, and I don't think anyone just stopped by...)

And I was invited to see Marvin and Geoff's new home, for dinner and some Scrabble.

Their home is gorgeous, nestled under the San Jacinto mounains.......

....and five minutes from town....

I haven't really started taking pictures of my local flora and fauna yet, but here's a taste....

....More to follow.  She's  baaack!!!!

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!!!  Canadian Thanksgiving always seems too early to me, but no matter.  It is always a good time to be grateful for what we have.  As you guys already know, I am definitely a glass half full not a glass half empty kind of person, and I am, indeed, grateful.  

Another week in the life of....

....there's bridge, of course.  Had to take this picture, me all dressed up for winter in my fur hat and coat and gloves and boots, and partner Alex in his shorts.....

I have enough winter clothes for the next ice age, but never get a chance to wear them, because I'm always in the desert before it gets cold enough.  It has been unseasonably chilly - okay, it's not Manitoba, but it is cold for here - so I have trotted out all my winter stuff.  (David wasn't much of a present giver, but he bought me both hat and coat, and I always feel surrounded by him when I wear these.  The hat is trimmed with possum, and was bought in New Zealand.....)

Friends John and Dennis and I took advantage of one of these fall-like days and went on a 10 1/2 kilometer walk around Burnaby Lake on Wednesday....

.......and followed it with a decadent lunch at the White Spot.....

.....for those of you who don't know, the White Spot is a Canadian institution - kind of like the USA's Dennie's, except without the racism.  Although they are known for their hamburgers, I have never been very fond of their hamburgers.  Their chicken pot pies, however, are to die for.  And, since we are approaching Canadian Thanksgiving, they have brought back their pumpkin pie milk shakes.  I know, it sounds dreadful, but it is actually yummy.....

More walks in the fall foliage.......

....and, on Friday night, friend Tom collected a group of us for dinner at Brava Cuchina (my new favourite Italian restaurant on the North Shore....)

.....  and the theater.  The dinner, was, as usual, fabulous.  The theater, not so much.  It was, if you will, experimental theater - what it means to be black, don't you know - and, amidst all the cursing and the scatalogical references, it didn't tall me anything I didn't already know.  But that's the thing about live theater - sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.  I rarely regret going, however...... luckily there was no intermission, so I didn't get a chance to leave before it was over....

Metropolitan Opera in the movies on Saturday with Jack, on the other hand, was fabulous.  It was the first transmission on the season, and they did the Franco Zeffirelli production of Turandot, Puccini's last opera.  Now, Turandot is not my favourite opera, but this may be the best production I ever saw/heard.  Christine Goerke was a great Turandot (although I think she was a better Brunhilde.  I never noticed the similarities in the roles before - both lose their "godliness" and are awakened by a hero to the power of love), and Leu, Calaf and Timur were also great, as were Ping, Pang and Pong as the comic relief.  .  That's the thing about the Met - every singer, every chorus member, every member of the orchestra - they are all great.  Always. 

The only sad thing was that the production was dedicated to Zeffirelli, who died last month at the age of 96.  They showed a film of him as a (much) younger man, back stage at a number of his famous opera productions at the Met.  He was truly a force of nature, and it was sad to think of him dead, and how different he must have been than his younger, vibrant self when I died. 

As I've mentioned, I am heading for the desert in less than 2 weeks.  At a certain point in this process, my mind definitely turns south, and it has done that now.  The next few weeks will be a rush of good bye lunches, dinners, and bridge games, starting with dim sum today with friend Joyce.  We went to our favourite, Fisherman's Terrace, and it didn't disappoint...

Only two books to report this week.  The first is Michael Robotham's Close Your Eyes, a thriller.  I don't usually read thrillers, but this is definitely an author I would read again.  Finally, The Discreet Hero, by Peruvian writer Mario Vargas Llosa.    His Aunt Julia and the Scriptwriter - I must have read it 20 years ago or more - got me hooked, and this one, although quieter was also a good read.  And the endings of both were just right.....

I may of may not report again before I leave, but will for sure as soon as I get to Palm Springs.  I am glad to be reporting again, and glad, from the look of the audience for the blog, you guys are still with me.  Thank you.

I didn't want it to end that way......

No, I'm not talking about life, I'm talking about a book.  Just finished a book called The Lonely Hearts Hotel, by Heather O'Neill, a Canadian writer, apparently well known, but new to me.  A wonderful writer - she brought flapper, boot-legging, depression-era Montreal to life.  But I liked her heroes - two orphans - and wanted them to come to a different end.  I have heard many interviews with authors (mostly on CBC), and they all say that the characters develop a life of their own.  But I wish.........

Otherwise, life is just going on.  Books aside, I am still melancholy over Artie's death.  I think I made the right decision not to go to the funeral - too much going on, no quality time with Ruth (his wife) or David (his son) or cousin Ellen (if she even made it to the funeral from Scranton).  But I feel rather cowardly nonetheless (it certainly wasn't the money...).  And fearful, too, that I may have  missed my only chance to see Ruth.  So often, with long marriages such as this one, the remaining spouse dies shortly after the first one goes.

On the other hand, the women in the family have all outlasted the men by many years.....

Also, one time friend Michael, as I might have mentioned, is in palliative care dying of pancreatic cancer.  Michael and I have been estranged for years, and it would be hypocritical to see him now.  (I might forgive him his transgressions against me, but he was awful to David - David was not a stupid man, but Michael used his brilliance like a rapier - and I will not forgive Michael for that....)

Anyway, lots of social stuff, as always happens just before I head south for the winter..

....bridge, of course.  Alex and I are still playing two times a week most weeks,but I have found another partner for my third outing.  Diana is a bit nervous- she gets anxious over her playing - but is lively and cheerful, and, most important, forgiving of her partner's foibles.  I swear, finding a suitable bridge partner is almost as hard as finding a life partner....(whenever I tease Alex that he is going to trade me in for a younger model, he keeps on saying, no, it is so hard to train a new partner...) Anyway, Diana and I have played several times in recent weeks, with a modicum of success.  Both of us think it is worth working on the partnership.  Another bonus;  she is a symphony fan, and an opera fan, and, miracle of miracles, even a Wagner fan (Alex, god bless him, doesn't have a cultural bone in his body....).  And you can't have too many friends - especially when they keep dying off on me....

Thursday was friend Robin's birthday, and I got to wish her a happy birthday in person at the bridge club.....

.....there she is with her partner Craig, still drop-dead gorgeous as she was in law school 45 years ago....

....while I had the camera out, I took a picture of two of my favourites, Mike and Rich, waiting for their table and planning strategy ....

Friday, met friend Eric for coffee.  Between travels and politics and the state of the universe, we never seem to run out of things to talk about,,.

Still walking a few hours a day....

..and, seeing as it's a lovely fall day and I have nothing else to do (house cleaned - albeit by someone else -  bills paid...), I'll be heading out for another, perhaps longer, walk today...